Feeling overwhelmed and burnout is normal for any boss, but it’s especially true for bosses juggling work, family, and chronic illness.
Not everything that we are interested in doing is good for us and that makes it hard to decide what to say yes or no to. We often buckle under the pressure of societal norms and we say yes to things we have no interest in, some of us have no idea who we are because we dishonor ourselves and say yes to everything that comes our way. No is a powerful word and it is a complete sentence that does not need to be defended. You are well within your rights to say NO! You need to say yes to living the life of your dreams.
People-pleasing leads to burnout
Being a good person is something we all strive to be, we want the people who are in our lives to look at us and be pleased with what they see so we say yes. Yes to hanging out, taking that leap, lending them money, listening to them, the list is endless. We say yes so much to the point that it becomes an automated response.
There comes a time when all the yes’s we dish out leave us worn out. You have no time for yourself and the things that you love, when giving to the cause of friendship begins to deplete your energy this is when you realize that it is important to say no. While saying no may seem selfish it is an act of self-love and it will give you time to focus on yourself. It is important to take care of number one because you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you struggle with saying no here are some things to consider if your default setting has become yes.
Say NO to things that do not bring you joy
TD Jakes says that if you know who you are, then you know who you are not. If you don’t know who you are, somebody can ascribe any identity onto you and you will morph into whoever they expect you to be. Honoring yourself entails being honest with yourself, it includes saying no to things that do not bring you joy or you simply are not interested in doing.
Do not allow the need to be liked by people and have their approval be what you make your decisions based on, suppressing your needs and self-sacrificing does not honor you in any way. Your loved ones deserve to have you show up for them because you truly care for them and you want to spend time with them. The version of you that reluctantly says yes and wishes to be elsewhere will only lead to resentment, dragging yourself along and forcing yourself to have fun leads to inauthentic connections in your life and you deserve better than that.
Say NO to things that do not bring you peace
Peace should be a big factor when deciding on saying yes or no. You should say yes to things that will allow you to have peace of mind, yes to things that will rejuvenate your soul, and things that make you happy. Everything that you need to think about and have to convince yourself to do because you are aware that it will drain your energy you must say no. For your peace of mind and sanity you must simply learn to say no.
Constantly saying yes leads to people expecting us to constantly go out of our way to show up for them, and they expect you to place their needs above yours. In the long run, this causes strain on relationships and you regret having been there for your loved ones. As you say yes or no, remember that you teaching people how to treat you and you want people to treat you with kindness and respect because you stand up for yourself.
Understand that NO is a complete sentence
Often, we feel bad and we feel guilty when we say no to our loved ones. We will begin with an apology; I am sorry but I am going to have to say no. We feel the need to soften the blow and it doesn’t matter how softened the blow is but we will feel bad as soon as no leaves our mouths. We feel like saying no to our loved ones is such a letdown and we need to justify ourselves for having the audacity to say no. The truth of the matter is that no is a complete sentence and you are allowed to just say no. You need to have confidence in your no and surround yourself with people that are aware that saying no to them is saying yes to yourself.
Saying no is you practicing self-love
You do not always need to be available to everyone for everything, take time out and focus on yourself. Say yes to a day of relaxation and rejuvenation, say yes to spending time alone, say yes to missing out on dinner plans, and say yes to YOU. You deserve to say yes to yourself. Keep in mind that as you try to nurture relationships with other people you should never forget about the lifelong relationship you can never escape which is a relationship with yourself. Stop making up negative scenarios of what might happen if you say no and remember that other people’s reactions have nothing to do with you.